Perception becomes reality

I was walking to the back room of the store the other night when I saw a woman propping open the men's bathroom door just a little. I heard her say, "start counting so I know you're ok." Then from the inside, I heard a kids voice counting, "1...2...3..." I don't know if her kid was sick or if she thinks gangs of pedophiles hang out in store bathrooms waiting on unsuspecting kids, only to be thwarted by their counting out loud. As I passed by her I smiled and said, "My mom makes me do that, too. It gets pretty embarrassing sometimes." She gave me a really mean look and rolled her eyes.

This is what I do.

This is a perfect example of how people see me, or how I think they see me. Some would think that was funny and laugh about it, but for every person who thinks it's funny, there are three more who think I'm an idiot. I start to see me how they see me and then my confidence is shot for awhile.

I usually try the humor approach on women, but I'm starting to rethink that strategy because it's obviously not working. Maybe I need to be more confident in it and not think so much. Let's face it. I'm 27, have a crap job and just moved back in with my mom. That's not really the definition of a "catch." I can't really afford to screw up too many more opportunities. I'm like a hitchhiker walking down a seldom used highway. When one of the few cars passes, I can't be jumping out all flaily-armed and crazy eyed. It's time to get my "I'm not gonna kill you" face on. That's a metaphor. Not saying I'd kill a date. Oh jeez...I'm doing it again. ;-)